The author's opinion of Eat, Pray, Love
If you could do anything, anything you wanted, what would it be? If money were no object, tell me your dream. What does your future look like? Nothing is too big, or too small.
Well I'd start off traveling to Japan. And probably also northern Spain. I'd take Aikido and learn to use my staff. I'd study Japanese forever. I'd buy every major work of Spanish literature and read them all, and a lot of the English ones as well. I'd probably take yoga, too. I'd go to a spa, lavish attention on myself. I'd be able to buy myself new clothes. I'd meditate, somewhere, with someone. I'd be a writer. I'd write about everything. At least that last part I don't have to wish for.
Yeah, I think that about sums up my most immediate goals.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Introspection
I think I've reaffirmed something for myself.
There are two people who live inside me. No, I'm not confessing to split personality disorder (unless maybe I am o.o). I'm talking about two competing dreams. Two competing ways of viewing the world. I am, in many ways, two completely different people.
Part of me is a writer. The writer is quiet, introverted, and disconnected from reality, but has a good grasp of humans and the human psyche. She listens well, but can sometimes ramble for hours about the same subject. You're often lucky if she remembers to brush her teeth in the morning. The writer dreams. Reality isn't really pertinent. She spends her time seeing the world through the eyes of others - other characters, other dimensions described by other writers and creators. The writer is fragile and secluded, at times, and uncaring of the petty problems found in the everyday at others.
But there's another part of me that longs for new things, that engages unfailingly, that becomes miserable and preoccupied in isolation. I could call this other person a lot of things - diplomat, perhaps, interpreter, a mover and a shaker, certainly - so I suppose a leader will do. The leader makes. The leader does, and loves the reality her feet are planted in. The leader is the person I could be if I accessed my full potential.
I suppose the writer and the leader are not exclusive. It is possible to balance the two. I've managed it before, in some ways. But lately, I feel as if I'm stagnating. Devolving, perhaps. So, essentially what I wanted to say is this: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and balance is the center of stability. Sometimes, balance requires movement, and sometimes it requires none. Always it requires inertia, from a strictly physical perspective. It's the changing from one state to another that is difficult.
At my heart I'll always be a person of cool colors. But I shouldn't forget that I have to hold the whole spectrum to be happy. So I must keep attempting to live a warm and vibrant life.
There are two people who live inside me. No, I'm not confessing to split personality disorder (unless maybe I am o.o). I'm talking about two competing dreams. Two competing ways of viewing the world. I am, in many ways, two completely different people.
Part of me is a writer. The writer is quiet, introverted, and disconnected from reality, but has a good grasp of humans and the human psyche. She listens well, but can sometimes ramble for hours about the same subject. You're often lucky if she remembers to brush her teeth in the morning. The writer dreams. Reality isn't really pertinent. She spends her time seeing the world through the eyes of others - other characters, other dimensions described by other writers and creators. The writer is fragile and secluded, at times, and uncaring of the petty problems found in the everyday at others.
But there's another part of me that longs for new things, that engages unfailingly, that becomes miserable and preoccupied in isolation. I could call this other person a lot of things - diplomat, perhaps, interpreter, a mover and a shaker, certainly - so I suppose a leader will do. The leader makes. The leader does, and loves the reality her feet are planted in. The leader is the person I could be if I accessed my full potential.
I suppose the writer and the leader are not exclusive. It is possible to balance the two. I've managed it before, in some ways. But lately, I feel as if I'm stagnating. Devolving, perhaps. So, essentially what I wanted to say is this: absence makes the heart grow fonder, and balance is the center of stability. Sometimes, balance requires movement, and sometimes it requires none. Always it requires inertia, from a strictly physical perspective. It's the changing from one state to another that is difficult.
At my heart I'll always be a person of cool colors. But I shouldn't forget that I have to hold the whole spectrum to be happy. So I must keep attempting to live a warm and vibrant life.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tennessee, we need to talk about your road signs....
But other than that everything is good.
I took a trip today to Bays Mountain Park, since I had nothing better to do. I am, as I may have mentioned previously, staying at my aunt's this week taking care of her animals. There are two dogs, Ivee and Molly, and two cats, one who I call Squeaky (though his real name is Duke) on account of the fact that he literally sounds like a squeaky toy, and another one whose name is Daisy or something else that starts with D and is a typical cat name. Of all the pets I probably get along with her best, even if I can't remember her name. I feed them and, in the case of the dogs, play with them some and make sure they get let out of the house. The only bad part of the job so far is that they think I'm slacking if I get up at 8 am to let them out. I guess I'll add that to my list of reasons I don't want a dog. :-p
Unfortunately, I forgot to take my camera to Bays Mountain Park, but it's okay because I mostly did things that a camera likely would have been useless to chronicle. The park itself is at a higher elevation, as it's name might imply, than the house here. The mountains in this part of Appalachia are odd. I can't explain exactly how. On one hand, it appears to me that they are smaller, but also more abrupt, somehow more widely spaced or less sloping. At times you feel like you are huddling between the earth's breasts, and at times you can see around you for miles. It's a little disorienting, in all honesty. I'm used to the wide rivers and ancient, rounded mountains a little further north. Somehow it seems that the mountains in my part of Virginia have more regularity to them.
I went to the park because, as I discovered thanks to Yahoo!/Google, on Sundays the park does a sun observation using one of their telescopes. What I mean is, the park contains both an observatory and a planetarium, and from the observatory on Sunday from 3pm to 3:30 one can view a part of the surface of the sun. Which is, needless to say, awesome. They also do moon viewings on Saturdays during the winter months, when it gets darker earlier. I have heard there might be an observatory somewhere around Pulaski, or might have been, but I've never seen it or visited. It makes me curious.
After viewing the sun from two different devices, one of which showed me sunspots, the other those filaments that spring from the sun sort of like the fila of an amoeba - these are apparently caused by kinks in the sun's magnetic field, which are in turn caused by the differing speeds of the surface rotation of the star, caused by the spherical shape of the celestial body, which makes me ponder the possibility of similar but less flashy occurrences in Earth's atmosphere - I wandered down to the planetarium to watch a showing there. It was my first time in a planetarium - it doesn't remotely compare to the night sky, but it is certainly interesting. The program was on IBEX which stands for something along the lines of "Interstellar Boundary Explorer." Some of the images were really fascinating, and the explanation proffered concerning the project made me ponder the concept of halos for a long time. See, IBEX was designed to measure, essentially, the solar radiation, or solar winds, which protect the planet and everything in our solar system. Unfortunately, the particles which make up the solar wind are invisible to the human eye, but you might get the idea if I described it as the sun's glow wrapping over everything and embracing it somehow. At least that was how I felt about the phenomenon.
In any case, I was all unawares but apparently the planetarium itself is considered one of the best in the Southeast, and cost some million dollars to construct (I'm not sure what cost a million bucks, but I would hypothesize it was probably mostly the projection equipment, followed by the fact that they would have had to reconstruct part of the building during the remodeling without affecting the surrounding construction). My curiosity ignited, I now find myself wanting to return to DC and see a show there and compare. I think I would like a show about finding constellations the best though.
Now that I'm back and the pets are fed, I find myself preoccupied with what I may be missing in my own locale. Probably not anything that grand or celestial, but perhaps there are things I've somehow missed at home that would be worth leaving the river bank (which I miss terribly, though I'm aware I have no right to as I hardly spend as much time there as I could). Still, I'm sure there's much more to explore here. And I'm so glad to be traveling again, even if it is just to the edge of Tennessee.
I took a trip today to Bays Mountain Park, since I had nothing better to do. I am, as I may have mentioned previously, staying at my aunt's this week taking care of her animals. There are two dogs, Ivee and Molly, and two cats, one who I call Squeaky (though his real name is Duke) on account of the fact that he literally sounds like a squeaky toy, and another one whose name is Daisy or something else that starts with D and is a typical cat name. Of all the pets I probably get along with her best, even if I can't remember her name. I feed them and, in the case of the dogs, play with them some and make sure they get let out of the house. The only bad part of the job so far is that they think I'm slacking if I get up at 8 am to let them out. I guess I'll add that to my list of reasons I don't want a dog. :-p
Unfortunately, I forgot to take my camera to Bays Mountain Park, but it's okay because I mostly did things that a camera likely would have been useless to chronicle. The park itself is at a higher elevation, as it's name might imply, than the house here. The mountains in this part of Appalachia are odd. I can't explain exactly how. On one hand, it appears to me that they are smaller, but also more abrupt, somehow more widely spaced or less sloping. At times you feel like you are huddling between the earth's breasts, and at times you can see around you for miles. It's a little disorienting, in all honesty. I'm used to the wide rivers and ancient, rounded mountains a little further north. Somehow it seems that the mountains in my part of Virginia have more regularity to them.
I went to the park because, as I discovered thanks to Yahoo!/Google, on Sundays the park does a sun observation using one of their telescopes. What I mean is, the park contains both an observatory and a planetarium, and from the observatory on Sunday from 3pm to 3:30 one can view a part of the surface of the sun. Which is, needless to say, awesome. They also do moon viewings on Saturdays during the winter months, when it gets darker earlier. I have heard there might be an observatory somewhere around Pulaski, or might have been, but I've never seen it or visited. It makes me curious.
After viewing the sun from two different devices, one of which showed me sunspots, the other those filaments that spring from the sun sort of like the fila of an amoeba - these are apparently caused by kinks in the sun's magnetic field, which are in turn caused by the differing speeds of the surface rotation of the star, caused by the spherical shape of the celestial body, which makes me ponder the possibility of similar but less flashy occurrences in Earth's atmosphere - I wandered down to the planetarium to watch a showing there. It was my first time in a planetarium - it doesn't remotely compare to the night sky, but it is certainly interesting. The program was on IBEX which stands for something along the lines of "Interstellar Boundary Explorer." Some of the images were really fascinating, and the explanation proffered concerning the project made me ponder the concept of halos for a long time. See, IBEX was designed to measure, essentially, the solar radiation, or solar winds, which protect the planet and everything in our solar system. Unfortunately, the particles which make up the solar wind are invisible to the human eye, but you might get the idea if I described it as the sun's glow wrapping over everything and embracing it somehow. At least that was how I felt about the phenomenon.
In any case, I was all unawares but apparently the planetarium itself is considered one of the best in the Southeast, and cost some million dollars to construct (I'm not sure what cost a million bucks, but I would hypothesize it was probably mostly the projection equipment, followed by the fact that they would have had to reconstruct part of the building during the remodeling without affecting the surrounding construction). My curiosity ignited, I now find myself wanting to return to DC and see a show there and compare. I think I would like a show about finding constellations the best though.
Now that I'm back and the pets are fed, I find myself preoccupied with what I may be missing in my own locale. Probably not anything that grand or celestial, but perhaps there are things I've somehow missed at home that would be worth leaving the river bank (which I miss terribly, though I'm aware I have no right to as I hardly spend as much time there as I could). Still, I'm sure there's much more to explore here. And I'm so glad to be traveling again, even if it is just to the edge of Tennessee.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Eventful
Today I had an interview with Elizabeth Arden. I think it went well, which is exciting. : ) I should hear from them sometime next week.
I also had lunch with Maria before I came back to Radford, and we got Chocolate Paper for dessert. It was lovely. I missed Roanoke.
Once more, I decided that everything works out for the best. I reaffirm this belief from time to time in my life, and today was one of those days.
Then I came home and tried to prepare for my journey to Tennessee but my brother accidentally spattered my dress with bleach. I'm thinking about spattering the whole thing with bleach to make it uniform. I can't decide for sure if it would look cool...or just like I spattered my dress with bleach. Decisions, decisions...
Then my aunt and uncle came by for about five minutes....I haven't seen them for months so that was good I guess. Their dog tried to eat my sandwich.
Basically, my sugar's wonky. Thus my fragmented writing style. I might give this a much better go if I didn't feel like my insides were full of clouds.
Night.
I also had lunch with Maria before I came back to Radford, and we got Chocolate Paper for dessert. It was lovely. I missed Roanoke.
Once more, I decided that everything works out for the best. I reaffirm this belief from time to time in my life, and today was one of those days.
Then I came home and tried to prepare for my journey to Tennessee but my brother accidentally spattered my dress with bleach. I'm thinking about spattering the whole thing with bleach to make it uniform. I can't decide for sure if it would look cool...or just like I spattered my dress with bleach. Decisions, decisions...
Then my aunt and uncle came by for about five minutes....I haven't seen them for months so that was good I guess. Their dog tried to eat my sandwich.
Basically, my sugar's wonky. Thus my fragmented writing style. I might give this a much better go if I didn't feel like my insides were full of clouds.
Night.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Two in a row, who knew?
Today I emailed one of my prospective employers. Originally, I was supposed to know if I got this position two weeks ago, but they need another four days to figure things out. Fortunately, behind every unfortunate occurrence is a concealed opportunity and hopefully their stalling has given me the time to maybe get a better/higher paying job in Roanoke. Which would be nice.
I've come to the realization in job hunting that, as I had previously suspected, my Spanish major is probably the best decision I could have made. It's the only thing getting me interviews right now, I think. The idea is, one the one hand, reassuring, as it means I have a sort of leg up, as it were. On the other hand, I am kind of disappointed that my International Studies major can only really be utilized in one of the positions I've managed to interview for (which was an internship and is kind of a fall-back thing). At least I know I really love Spanish (and I do, as fascinating as I find other languages Spanish is my favorite so far). So no matter what I'll get to explore something I love further, with the added ability of paying off my loans. Sweet, right?
In further news, I just wrote a sweet and possibly improbably scene in my new book, which is currently tentatively titled Mother of Creation in honor of the eventual fate of the sort of main character as the unwilling mother of a god and the goddess figure which manipulates her into that unfortunate position. Basically I'm psyched. I started off trying to be careful and write in a sort of chronological order but I've since given up and just focused on channeling the scenes given to me until I run out of that and go back to beef out the plot/characters/etc. It's moving a lot faster now.
Still no word from agents, but they still have another week or so that they could respond before I'll move on and start looking for a new batch for The Last Disciple. I think a potential difficulty with that work is my own lack of decision concerning the genre. Still, I think it's marketable. Definitely a lot better than many other books I've recently come across. Lack of cohesive plot/character development honestly is one of my least favorite things to be exposed to in a book. It sticks in my head for days, and not in a good way.
Now I'm obviously rambling. Time for bed!
I've come to the realization in job hunting that, as I had previously suspected, my Spanish major is probably the best decision I could have made. It's the only thing getting me interviews right now, I think. The idea is, one the one hand, reassuring, as it means I have a sort of leg up, as it were. On the other hand, I am kind of disappointed that my International Studies major can only really be utilized in one of the positions I've managed to interview for (which was an internship and is kind of a fall-back thing). At least I know I really love Spanish (and I do, as fascinating as I find other languages Spanish is my favorite so far). So no matter what I'll get to explore something I love further, with the added ability of paying off my loans. Sweet, right?
In further news, I just wrote a sweet and possibly improbably scene in my new book, which is currently tentatively titled Mother of Creation in honor of the eventual fate of the sort of main character as the unwilling mother of a god and the goddess figure which manipulates her into that unfortunate position. Basically I'm psyched. I started off trying to be careful and write in a sort of chronological order but I've since given up and just focused on channeling the scenes given to me until I run out of that and go back to beef out the plot/characters/etc. It's moving a lot faster now.
Still no word from agents, but they still have another week or so that they could respond before I'll move on and start looking for a new batch for The Last Disciple. I think a potential difficulty with that work is my own lack of decision concerning the genre. Still, I think it's marketable. Definitely a lot better than many other books I've recently come across. Lack of cohesive plot/character development honestly is one of my least favorite things to be exposed to in a book. It sticks in my head for days, and not in a good way.
Now I'm obviously rambling. Time for bed!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
"I'm as deep and winding as the sea" and other ego-stroking statements
Hmm...where to begin.
Job hunting is long.
I bought Memoirs of a Geisha in Spanish in Roanoke, when I was visiting Cynthia. That was cool. I've been reading it, and thinking to myself something along the following lines: This chick started off living in a hut and became the most desired woman in all of Japan. Except she also had a lot of misery and drama in her life. Isn't it better to just hang out and not be consistently misery/drama-ful? Can anyone just hang out and live their life when they feel like they are expected to do more? What does hanging out and living life imply? What, therefore, is more? Will I be completely gray by the time I'm thirty-five?
Ah, the questions of a person with too much time on their hands.
That being said, I've continued writing, and submitted materials to both magazines and agents. Someday, I'm going to be a writer. Heaven help those who stand in my way. According to my projections, this may in some ways disrupt some of my other dreams/desires in life. Fortunately, they can wait. I've only used up a quarter of my allotted span, after all. (This is of course a vague projection. I have no idea of how much time I am truly left on earth.) Therefore, I have three more full quarters to become a writer. Considering all that I've accomplished this far in, I find that rather reassuring.
See, my life is sort of eventful.
Job hunting is long.
I bought Memoirs of a Geisha in Spanish in Roanoke, when I was visiting Cynthia. That was cool. I've been reading it, and thinking to myself something along the following lines: This chick started off living in a hut and became the most desired woman in all of Japan. Except she also had a lot of misery and drama in her life. Isn't it better to just hang out and not be consistently misery/drama-ful? Can anyone just hang out and live their life when they feel like they are expected to do more? What does hanging out and living life imply? What, therefore, is more? Will I be completely gray by the time I'm thirty-five?
Ah, the questions of a person with too much time on their hands.
That being said, I've continued writing, and submitted materials to both magazines and agents. Someday, I'm going to be a writer. Heaven help those who stand in my way. According to my projections, this may in some ways disrupt some of my other dreams/desires in life. Fortunately, they can wait. I've only used up a quarter of my allotted span, after all. (This is of course a vague projection. I have no idea of how much time I am truly left on earth.) Therefore, I have three more full quarters to become a writer. Considering all that I've accomplished this far in, I find that rather reassuring.
See, my life is sort of eventful.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Yes, I know I just stole the title from Star Wars Episode IV
May my life be so epic.
I have spent a lot of time these past few months feeling generally miserable. That isn't to say that I didn't enjoy things. But it was as if I had grown as much as I could grow. I was stagnated.
Thank goodness that's over.
I've returned to my home in Radford. Yes, it has been a little disappointing. Things aren't coming easily - that is to say, the struggle to move on to the next stage in my life is, well, a struggle. Everyone knows that the job market is bad, and I haven't been as proactive as some of my peers. But I'm feeling pretty confident that, sooner or later, I will get where I'm supposed to be. And that, quite honestly, is a good feeling.
Learning the lesson of perseverance, of living with myself, of enjoying the little things, is what this summer is about. In order to receive, you must give, and while it is important to look back you can't let the past mire you in "was" and "what if".
So, in keeping with my own personal philosophies on the subject, I've started submitting to publishers, as well as keeping up my job search. I'm also, hopefully, going to be volunteering soon at a local nonprofit. I know what I'm worth, which is a nice feeling, too. Things will work out. This is the law of the universe.
(Though it is worth noting that, as the song goes, you can't always get what you want - but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.) On that note, best wishes if you're reading.
I have spent a lot of time these past few months feeling generally miserable. That isn't to say that I didn't enjoy things. But it was as if I had grown as much as I could grow. I was stagnated.
Thank goodness that's over.
I've returned to my home in Radford. Yes, it has been a little disappointing. Things aren't coming easily - that is to say, the struggle to move on to the next stage in my life is, well, a struggle. Everyone knows that the job market is bad, and I haven't been as proactive as some of my peers. But I'm feeling pretty confident that, sooner or later, I will get where I'm supposed to be. And that, quite honestly, is a good feeling.
Learning the lesson of perseverance, of living with myself, of enjoying the little things, is what this summer is about. In order to receive, you must give, and while it is important to look back you can't let the past mire you in "was" and "what if".
So, in keeping with my own personal philosophies on the subject, I've started submitting to publishers, as well as keeping up my job search. I'm also, hopefully, going to be volunteering soon at a local nonprofit. I know what I'm worth, which is a nice feeling, too. Things will work out. This is the law of the universe.
(Though it is worth noting that, as the song goes, you can't always get what you want - but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.) On that note, best wishes if you're reading.
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